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On February 27th at 8 o’clock in the morning, I woke to find a startling surprise from my mother. A three-month-old baby girl had been left at my mother’s salon, which was located in the Defense Housing Authority, Islamabad. The mother of the baby had been the victim of psychological torture and had decided to give up on life. My mom was crying while explaining the situation to me, and I was listening and absorbing her words, in utter shock that a parent could abandon their own infant.
She put the baby under my supervision and left the house to get some milk and warmer clothing for our little discovery. As the child had been in thin clothing over the last few days, she had caught a cold and had a concerning cough. Mom returned with the needful after an hour, and the baby finally stopped crying after being fed and changed – boy, was that a relief! However, the cough persisted and I could not stop worrying about her health. My mother thought it might be signs of pneumonia and obtained antibiotics from a local doctor to hopefully heal the child.
Should we adopt?
Later that evening, we were informed by a family friend that the mother of the infant had been arrested by local authorities for attempting suicide. That’s when mom and I decided that the baby would not be safe in the hands of her parents, and it would be the child’s best interest if we adopt her. As adoption services in The Islamic Republic of Pakistan lack organization, we were going to have the baby’s mother sign paperwork handing the child over to us.
The three-month-old continued coughing and crying all night and kept us awake; in the morning, my mother and I made our way to the police station to get the signatures we needed. Nadia Malik, the name of the abandoning mother, was finally discovered upon entering the lockup; she was kept under strict supervision. The moment Nadia saw Iman, her baby, in our arms, her story unfolded.
Nadia’s background
Nadia, 19, had eloped with a local construction worker, against the will of her parents, and ran away from home. After bearing five daughters of Iman’s father, Nadia was hoping the sixth child would be a son. As Iman also turned out to be female, her mentally unstable mother wanted to kill first, the child, and then herself. She, however, couldn’t bring herself to actually hurt her own flesh and blood, so she instead left Iman at my mom’s salon, and then proceeded with her plans for suicide. Fortunately, neither of Nadia’s plans worked out and eventually, she and Iman ended up obtaining residence at the Dar-ul-Aman (a women’s shelter).
What are you doing Pakistan?
The number of unnamed infants dying from abandonment is still poorly researched in this country, as it has been drowning in political upheaval since its inception. Most commonly, these children are found at local trash sites, or in cradles outside of the Edhi Center (a private children’s center funded by donations). News reports on these cases come up from time to time, and UNICEF and other foundations try to help out, but the statistics recorded are not accurate and help is primarily futile.
Bilquis Edhi, the owner of Edhi Center, recently informed local newspapers that newborn babies, largely girls from poor backgrounds are found left in local dumpsters. As prematurely born infants tend to need much more care than those born at term, they tend to die quickly and are often found too late. “They are thrown in the night and discovered wrapped in plastic bags or paper by garbage pickers the following morning. They are nearly dead,” says Bilquis.
In a country with a population of 200 million people, it is only places like Edhi Center that provide these protective services for abandoned children. There is a lack of assistance available to those suffering from social issues. National prime-time TV hosts, who are often considered the voice of the nation, spend hours dismantling the mishaps of political parties but have failed to shed light on prevalent issues such as child abandonment.
Back to baby
Circling back to the Iman situation, soon after Nadia and she moved into the shelter, the court ordered them to be released from the shelter’s custody. Nadia and Iman have since then disappeared into thin air and their whereabouts are unknown to us all. Although I was told I could not adopt a child as a single man, I still fear for the life of that baby as if she were my own daughter. Recently, my lawyer informed me of the Guardians and Wards Act, which states that I could have been that little baby’s guardian, if not her father. I wish this information had been divulged before both of them made the missing people’s list; I can only hope she is miraculously found again.
A few thoughts cross my mind as this story comes to a screeching halt; a few questions haunt me. Why do we as humans procreate if we cannot afford to care for our offspring? Yes, abortion is a taboo in our culture, but there are other ways to prevent having children if you are not ready. Various forms of protection are available in many pharmaceutical outlets – I highly recommend we, as a society, make use of these options!
Your child should not have to bear the hardship of your reckless decision. In Pakistani culture, we push our kids to be the very best in all that they do – school, art, sports, and even being well-mannered or “sharif.” Instead of caring only about our own, why not care about all kids?
