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I am a medical student and trainee at Abbasi Shaheed Hospital, Karachi. I met a girl last week at the Radiology Department. Her hands were stained with Hena, her face fully covered with makeup like a newlywed bride, her hair combed up professionally. On her face were bruises, scars on her eyelids, lips, ears, gazes, and scratches on hands, dried flakes of blood on her legs, eyes full of tears and a man was standing there with her.
Just as anyone else would, I asked the man what had happened to her. In return, he said that nothing had happened to her, there was a minor ‘gharelu issue’ between the woman and her husband. Upon asking who he was, he replied that he was her brother. The brother did not seem in a mood to tell me exactly what had happened, so I inquired it from the victim herself. What she told me, left me stunned!
I made myself comfortable with her and asked her, “Bibi, kya hua hai ap ke saath?” She broke down in tears and said: “Mere shohar ne mere saath zabardasti ki.” I hesitated and reconfirmed, “Zinah Bil Jabr?” She nodded. She then got into the details of what had happened and how it panned out.
She said: “Meri shaadi kal raat hi hui hai.. yeh hamari pehli raat ek saath thi aur mere shohar ne mujhse ‘milna’ chaha. Maine ussay bola keh meri tabyat theek nahi aur main apni mahwaari per hoon. Usne kaha is se fark nahi parta. Maine ussay mana kerne ki koshish ki per woh nahi mana. Isi dauraan usse bohot ghussa agaya aur usne mujhe maarna shuru kerdiya. Haathon se, laaton se aur belt se bhi. Main bohot roi, cheekhi aur chilai, bohot mana kiya per usne nahi suni. Aakhir mein us ne mujhe itna zor ke dhakka dia ke meri gardan ki haddi toot gai..”
Upon checking her reports, the girl had suffered a clavicle fracture after the hue and cry with her husband. She started crying like a little child, her face was full of anger and she was yelling in pain.
While crying, she started screaming at her brother, “Tum logon ne aisay mard se mera nikah kyun karwaya?” I consoled her and asked her to launch an FIR against her husband. During this, I was interrupted by her brother, who said that she should’ve listened to her husband… had she not said no to him, this never would have happened.
Her brother’s statement shocked me. I got a bit angry and told him that a man does not have the right to force his wife. Also, that Islam doesn’t allow coitus while the woman is on her menses.
The Qur’aan clearly stated the reason for this prohibition, which is that menstruation is adha (a harmful thing). Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: that is an Adha (a harmful thing for a husband to have a sexual intercourse with his wife while she is having her menses), therefore, keep away from women during menses.” [Al-Baqarah 2:222]
Even though he understood what I said, he countered me by saying, “Aisa kuch nahi hota, kisi parayee aurat ke saath toh nahi kiya usne? Uski biwi hai!” This was when I realized that our society doesn’t think of these things as a sin or doing something wrong. Whatever they do, they deem fit.
In our patriarchal mindsets, things like these are always overlooked. The man does what he wants and nobody takes him to the task. When the girl’s brother thinks what her husband did was right, there is little room for others to worry.
NOTE: This piece is a submission article, not the original work of Parhlo, thus has been kept anonymous as per the author’s choice.
