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Pakistan, ever since inception, has remained a country dominated by the patriarchy. In every Pakistani household, the person-in-charge is the man. He could be the father, the brother, the son or the husband calling all the shots.
However, as of late, a lot has changed in our society. Progressively, and rightly so, women now have cut down that lingering margin of inequality and are now competitive rivals in every field of life. Still, for a family to work and live happily, both the man and the woman need to act like partners, equal at that, and everything else.
For men, especially those who live in cities, friendship is a huge part of their lives. Before they get married, be it a love marriage or an arranged one, they spend most of their time with friends, as they have done so since childhood.
From school days to college and then university, it’s pretty much all about friendship for guys. From hitting gaming zones to their first cigarette, from the girls they liked to every single sleepover, they remain connected. They could be dubbed as the brothers they chose for themselves.
Naturally, however, they have to get married one day. It’s just how the world works and nature is meant to be. A man must leap out of the comfort of his friendships and select his partner, one who he shall be with their they’re old and gray. Once married, the life of the man starts to change.
What used to be countless hours, sitting with friends in the middle of nowhere, talking, laughing, making fun of each other and then sitting down to eat in arms – all that starts to vanish slowly.
Spiderman’s Uncle Ben has always been quoted saying, “with great power comes great responsibility” – but in this case, for Pakistani men, it should be: “with a wife, comes great responsibility”, which is one thing every guy is scared of.
Regular plans of the old days now remain a hope. A hope that with work and family, they would be able to take time out for friends. From seeing each other every single day to not even hearing from each other on weekends. This fear of adolescence then turns into a barring reality.
After work, when these men wish to relax and have a cup of tea with their friends, they start facing odd problems they’ve never heard of before. Like bringing pampers or milk for their child, or taking their wives out for a snack or God forbid something more worrisome.
In this hullabaloo of things, what Pakistani men fear the most is losing their sanity. Sanity, which all their lives, was linked with their friends. This sacrifice by them, indeed, is the noblest and one that hurts most. Something only a Pakistani guy can imagine.
